Joke Of The Day

There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.

Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196. But when he rounded them up he had 200.

The clerk was fired from his job in a men's clothing store because the tailor felt he wasn't suited for it.

At the hospital they told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I'm not sure what it stems from, but it seems likely I'll be stuck with it.

Every dog has his day. Of course, his day consists of smelling other dogs' butts.

The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns --you only think you're covered.

Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, largely, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves.

The pen is mightier than the sword - so, in this dangerous world, I always carry a pen.

This was once my life until the government took it over.

Why are there no airplanes where Peter Pan lives?
Because there is a sign that says “Never Neverland”

How many legs does a fast thoroughbred horse have?
Six. Forelegs in the front and two in the back!

What do the Starship Enterprise, Mike Tyson and Van Gogh have in common?
They are all searching for the Final Front Ear!

Tourists need to be careful of what they eat when traveling in France, lest they get Lautrec's revenge--when the bowels get "Toulouse".


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